We got our Official Warning from the TV Licensing division the other day. We've been getting similar warnings for almost a year now, most of which say variations on the theme, "you don't have a TV license, and since we assume you must own a television, that means you're breaking the law, and we're coming to get you." But this one, apparently, is the mother of all warnings, the Real Thing. "This is an official warning that the TV Licensing Enforcement Division will be proceeding with a full investigation of the above address," it starts.
Surely, I think, surely, the government has better things to do. The simple fact is that we have been ignoring these warnings because we are not, in fact, breaking the law. We do not own a television, nor do we "watch or record TV programmes as they are shown on TV" on any kind of device. But we've been amused by the TV Licensing divison's insistance that we're harboring secret television devices. The Man finally called them up to tell them to please stop sending their letters; someone is going to come to our house to make sure we're not lying, apparently. This makes us giggle.
In other news, this, though written back in September, is particularly relevent today. Firstly because it made us laugh, but secondly because I have discovered an alarming derth of socks in my wardrobe. Those that I am still in possession of--mostly holey or unravelling--are never in pairs, EVER. I don't know where they go, but I do know that underneath my boots I'm wearing two completely different kinds of thick wool hiking socks.
And finally, this from Tim Dowling in the Guardian's Saturday magazine: "I file through a mental list of things I have forgotten to worry about." I find Dowling especially likeable, but never more than today, when The Man, discovering this quote, tapped me on the shoulder and simply pointed. Point, as they say, taken.
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4 comments:
Miranda,
Hello. My name is Kate, and I would like very much to speak with you about Oxford. I am a Texan, and I am to take a lecture post at the University this October. I have many questions for which there are only answers from an expat.
I would appreciate your help in answering my questions on cost of living, finding friends, etc. The friends I have in England are located in London and Bury. Not really a big help in Oxford. :) I don't want to break any "rules" per se, so I thought I would seek help from a seasoned transplant such as yourself.
Please contact me when you have the time.
Regards,
Kate Wilson
You get used to TV Licensing threatograms. Just remember that's all they are - idle threats - and as a legitimate non-licensee you don't need to give them any cooperation at all.
Simply ignore and close the door. As you have already noticed telling them you don't have a TV doesn't work, so why bother making the effort to assist them further?
That's too funny. I've never been tempted to not own a TV before, but if I ever happen to find myself living in England, I will be TVless just for the amusement of being harassed for it. That sounds more entertaining than most programs anyways.
Hi Kate,
Thanks for writing. I'd be happy to (try to) answer any questions you might have! Email me at miranda.ward@gmail.com.
Best,
Miranda
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